I have a ton of shit I need to do today. I have to take an exam at 2:00, I am supposed to be at a meeting at 12:30 to discuss some volunteer work I will be doing in a week or so, and I need to go to the bank and deposit my last $20 into my checking account so my automatic payments don't bounce. However, all I want to do is sit on the couch and eat pudding. In my pajamas.
Why must PMS last a whole week prior to the, um, main event? I'm bloated up like Elvis and I have a huge bullseye pimple right between my eyes.
I just want to curl up under my quilt and nap for a month or so. And hide. Because there isn't enough concealer in all the world to cover this mofo. Just once I would like men to go through some shit like this. I bet they would think twice before saying some ignorant crap like "Boy, you're cranky today..is it that time?" and then act like rocket scientists who have discovered the secret formula and nod wisely to themselves. Gahhhhhhh.

I'm done.